New mothers are turning the tables on sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and TickTock to exhibit what it’s truly similar to be a new mother through social media, being a new parent and how social media plays part in every day of their lives.
Five years back I looked through my Facebook news feed loaded with refined, excessively sifted posts. Indeed, even the non-celebrity names I followed looked so #blessed with their designer cloths, superbly uniform families, lux travels, and conditioned two-piece bodies. It was rare to see a caption longer than a sentence, and that sentence was commonly a very much played joke. I saw children smiling on Santa’s lap, perfectly coiffed mamas at theme parks with three kids, and delivery room photos that made labor look like a breeze—in retrospect, it all seemed a bit unnatural and dare I say staged. And then something changed—parents started breaking the mold.
Fast forward to today and I’m sitting on my couch watching my sister nursing my one-year-old niece while rocking heavy bags under her eyes and hair that hasn’t been washed in, oh, maybe a week. As I scroll through my Facebook, the posts are looking a whole lot like I do—real and unfiltered. I see a new mom of twins sharing her 2-week postpartum belly in all its glory, a second-time mom sharing an unfiltered image of her simultaneously breastfeeding her 3-year-old and 3-month-old, and raw footage of a water birth showing a mother hand-delivering her own child.
Even celebrity moms are sharing more honest moments. Funke Akindele posted photos of her twins rocking a matching Santa’s outfit.
In trustworthiness, web-based life has played a lead job with regards to our child-rearing way of life and how we shape our picture to every other person on the planet.
For a large number of the present inexperienced parents, online life is a local language. It basically has been a piece of our lives, in some structure, for such huge numbers of years that we are similarly as agreeable (if not more) posting a question or communicating something specific through Facebook than we are with putting ourselves out there in such a manner, in actuality.
What happens when the interactions we’ve been balancing internet usage with fade away — or are replaced by 24/7 interactions with an unspeaking baby? According to a 2012 study published in the journal Family Relations, 44% of women increased Facebook use upon becoming mothers.
Among these new mothers, the desire for continued social connection was one of the driving forces for regularly signing on — despite them reporting they didn’t communicate with 88% of their Facebook friends outside of the virtual world.
HOW TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA AS A PARENTING SUPPORT SYSTEM
Don’t get me wrong, I still follow quite a few perfect-appearing social media moms—they certainly still exist, particularly on Instagram. Sometimes their posts make me feel jealous, anxious, guilty (or all of the above—particularly at 3 a.m. when I’m awake and want to write). “There are always going to be those super-toned moms who post pictures of themselves and their gorgeous, seemingly well-behaved children,” says Dr. DiMarco. “They’re usually displaying the killer healthy salad they made or reminding you about how important self-care is, especially for successful entrepreneurs like themselves—and by the way, their 4-year-old is doing well with her Piano or Mandarin lessons, thank you very much for asking.”
When a new mom sees a social media post that’s inspiring mom guilt, shame, anxiety, or anger, Dr. DiMarco suggests that they consider the messenger. “Is this a person with whom you have a lot in common? If you don’t respect the messenger, it doesn’t make sense to aspire to be like them, or follow their lead in any way.”
She also proposes asking yourself how much you really know about the person to whom you’re comparing yourself. “Oftentimes, you simply don’t have enough information to make a fair comparison,” she says. “If you’re comparing your life, about which you are an expert, to the life of a friend you haven’t seen face-to-face for many years, you’re simply not making a reasonable comparison.” In other words, you don’t have enough information about this friend to evaluate how her life truly compares with yours.
LIVE IN THE NOW
Before you know it, your colicky, fussy-feeding newborn will be taking his/her first steps on the grass in your backyard. “Life tends to pass you by when you’re living behind a phone screen, even if it’s to take videos of your baby, so take a moment to breathe it all in and appreciate the little moments rather than going straight to social media,” advises Dr. Hafeez.
DON`T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR ADVISE
Again and again, the guidance we get as guardians is of the spontaneous assortment and it’s regularly bound with uneasiness and self-question. Be that as it may, as inexperienced parents, it’s fundamental that we feel empowered, elevated, and motivated in positive approaches to settle on the best choices with regards to bringing up our youngsters. “You will gain some new useful knowledge consistently, however you don’t need to make sense of everything all alone,” says Dr. Hafeez. Hence, she urges new mothers to connect with different mothers via web-based networking media for exhortation—other new mothers who may be experiencing exactly the same fastidious stages or potty-preparing tribulations.
“Being a genuine new mother, (#notsponsored) is being what your identity is and sharing the great, the awful, the victories, and disappointments,” Sullivan says. “It’s difficult to put yourself out there throughout each and every day, except it’s imperative to identify with your crowd. We are not great and we don’t mean for our Instagrams to look flawless either. We need to be your superbly flawed town.”